Haunted
by yume girl 91
Summary: Can a Hollow, a being created from a thousand wandering souls possess an emotion called love? An Ulquiorra/Rukia crack pairing,R&R! Note: CH.6 is up! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1 Long buried feelings

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. A/N: you probably are cursing me for not updating my other three fics...believe me I'm working on them...well this came out as a sort of drabble-not really it's too long to be that- crack pairing between Ulquiorra and Rukia. Well…maybe a bit more angst than usual. I love doing short fics, laughs…enjoy.

Rukia's p.o.v

Green. That's all I see…the shade of his eyes a perfect color between the grass of early summer and of a new leaf. I find myself obsessed with them, what lies behind them? Does anything-? His mind is a mystery, 'what moves him to make such actions? Is it possible for a Hollow to possess emotions?' I doubt my questions will ever be answered even if I had the courage to ask them. For you see, he whom I speak of is a being created from a thousand wandering souls and I am his enemy, a Soulreaper.

Sometimes I wonder how this came to be, my unconventional feelings for this…thing. The first time was when I was caught at unawares while being on patrol in Karakura. Captain Hitsugaya had divided us- Ayasegawa, Madarame, Matsumoto, Renji and me into two teams. One would stay near potential targets; the other would patrol the town. That night, Renji and I were alone near the eastern outskirts of the town, I'd gone ahead to scan the outlying areas while he stayed on the top of a tree and kept watch.

I hadn't gone very far when I noticed a certain flux in the energy flowing along the breeze. I stopped and stood quietly still; up ahead a small shadow appeared along the side of a building. My breath caught in my throat as the shadow passed beneath a streetlight, it was an Arrancar. He was dressed in a white gi with long white hakama pants tied by a large black sash; his sword had a pale teal sheath and hung from his waist. His hands were in his pockets, in all an absolutely casual pose for a midnight stroll…yet why did it feel so wrong?

"Soulreaper," he said quietly, I flinched from my place on the low roof and came out. My mind already devising ways to get out this alive, my palms sweated. He scrutinized me silently almost calmly probably trying to assert the likelihood of my friends being around the corner, I saw his eyes which I now realized were green widen just a fraction and then close and reopen slowly. I held my breath and waited for him to make the first move.

I think we stood in that pose for about a minute it felt like an eternity and then he silently turned and began to walk away. 'Huh? He's not going to kill me?' I stared at his retreating back, feeling quite confused. Maybe he sensed my inherent thoughts, because he said in a low voice over his shoulder," you aren't worth the effort, Soulreaper." I started to make a move toward him, angrily reaching for Sode no Shirayuki. He spun on his heel to face me, a sneering grin on his thin mouth, "are you that willing to die? Or will you put it off for another day?"

My sharp retort died on my lips, he was right in a way. He cocked his head at me still keeping that sneer on his face, "well?" I suddenly recalled what Kisuke had said about those Arrancars that had attacked a few weeks back…in particular their descriptions. 'Short black hair, dark cyan lines going down his face and…green eyes… it was him.'

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Ulquiorra's p.o.v

I stood there for quite a while wasting time talking to the trash. For some odd reason, she just didn't understand my point of there being no reason to kill her right then and there. The only thing I wanted was to enjoy a night time stroll through what in a month or two will be ashes…for once I wasn't accompanied by that overgrown glutton Yammy or by any bothersome fraccion. I was alone. Or at least until this meddlesome creature appeared. "A nice night isn't it?" I asked, changing my tactic. She stared as if I'd grown an extra head or something, "what do you mean?" she asked me right back. Her face was so serious and…what's the word? Foolish looking that I started laughing. It was strange the sound of my own laughter, I covered my mouth and looked away attempting to stifle the small outburst of…emotion…

"What?" the trash was speaking, "what's so funny?" she asked almost angrily. I refrained from answering her and instead turned my face up to the sky, "nothing," I said quietly. In the distance I sensed through my pesquisa two fast moving spirit pressures approaching us, 'probably her friends,' I thought. I stepped away from her," goodnight, Soulreaper," I sonido-ed off, "and pleasant dreams," I added as an after thought.

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Rukia's p.o.v

He left. I stood there stunned, still staring at the place he'd once been standing at when Renji and Matsumoto raced up, "where is he?" Renji demanded; Zambimaru was withdrawn from its sheath. Even the normally fruity Matsumoto, had Hai neko out. I blinked, trying to clear my head, "uh…who are you talking about?" I asked uncomprehendingly. Renji stared and then forcefully shook me by the shoulders; "he didn't do any thing to you? You're not hurt?" He ran his eyes quickly over my body looking for any visible wounds. When I didn't answer him he shook me even harder till Matsumoto laid a hand on his arm and with a look stopped him. "I'm sorry," Renji muttered as he sheathed Zambimaru. In all I should've been more thankful that I'd escaped with my life and not been so…intrigued I think is the word with that…Arrancar.

Later when Ichigo found out, I got a proper scolding, more like it was me yelling while he cowered as I threatened to hit him with my book bag. "So…" I said after we'd both settled down," do you know that Arrancar's name?" I asked casually. Ichigo stared at me as though I was insane, "what?" I smiled at Ochi-sensei as she passed by our desks, "his name?" I whispered. Ichigo cast an eye down to the blank page he was supposed to be filling, "no, I wasn't paying much attention to anything other than the fight…so I-wait why is it that you want to know?" he asked suddenly suspicious.

"Captain Hitsugaya wanted to know our enemy's name that's all," I lied. Ichigo seemed to believe me 'cause he said, "go ask Urahara, he might remember." So I did after school, go to Urahara's shop and question him more closely about 'our enemy' not because I thought the pervy salesman might know anything but I was pretty much out of options.

"Hmm…the name of that Arrancar?" Kisuke fluttered his usual paper fan at me, "why ever would you want to know?" he asked. This was a tough one, convincing Ichigo was one thing but Kisuke Urahara…possible disaster may ensue. "Um…" I fluttered my lashes at him hoping against hope that he would buy my feminine wiles, "Captain Hitsugaya wanted to know," I said using the same lie as I had done with Ichigo.

Kisuke was silent for a moment obviously weighing my current flirtatious mood and probably trying to figure out if it was fake or not, "I think…his name was Ulquiorra," he said finally. 'Ulquiorra?' my heart was hammering, I stood up, "thank you for the info, Kisuke." I bolted before he could say anything else besides, "have a nice day."

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"So what did she want, Kisuke?" Yoruichi asked she stood in the doorway in human form. "A name, she wanted to know the name of some thing," Urahara said lowering his fan. Yoruichi glanced at him a line furrowed her brow, "I hope this doesn't turn out bad," she muttered. "Don't worry. It won't," he murmured softly.

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Rukia's p.o.v

I raced down the streets in my Gigai, my feet surprisingly fast and surefooted. 'I know his name!' I thought joyously before I could stop myself. 'But so what if I know it?' I argued mentally, 'what sort of advantage does it give me over my enemy?' None that I could see until…

"Ulquiorra," I said walking out of my hiding spot. He was standing on…I guess an unusual place for a Hollow…the edge of the building's roof watching the sunset. As the orange sphere sunk into the bottom of the sky he shielded his eyes and glanced at me, "what do you want?" He was quite calm seeing as we were supposed to be enemies but then I guess I'm not much of a threat to him anyway.

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Ulquiorra's p.o.v

I was surprised when that trash from last week reappeared and…spoke my name.' How did she find out?' I wondered curiously. She was dressed in human clothing-a short gray skirt, with a short-sleeved white shirt and a small red ribbon around her neck and no sword to speak of. She was unarmed. "What do you want to prove by being here?" I asked again, boredom evident in my voice.

She blinked, 'obviously not very smart,' I noted. She shifted from foot to foot," I…I came to see the sunset," she said quickly. 'Hm, not a very good liar either,' rather than make anything out of it I said instead," darker and darker the black shadows fall; sleep and oblivion reign over all." The sunset was over and the darkness began creeping up, the trash looked at me surprised, I answered," Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Curfew verse II." "Oh…" she said softly, I got the impression that she didn't expect me to know anything above a Cero blast. I suspect that might be Grimmjow's memo but not mine.

"Tr-" I started to say but she cut me off, "where did you learn that poem? Is it something you remembered from your previous existence? If you don't mind that I ask," she said. ' How polite,' I thought sarcastically, " no I don't mind… I-" 'wait. Just where did I read that poem?' For the life of me I couldn't recall so I kept quiet, as it got darker and darker and until full night fell.

She stayed there, sitting up against the wall of the mini outer building just looking at me. I suppose she was studying the side of my face that she could see. I brushed my hand across my cheek; they should be noticing my absence in Las Noches by now in particular Aizen-sama. "I'll be going now," I said alerting the trash whom I could no longer see clearly. She didn't deign a response not that I'd expected one. I placed my sandaled foot on the building's edge and prepared to tear an opening in the sky a moment later someone wrapped their hands around my lower arm.

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Rukia's p.o.v

I seemed to move of something not of my own volition. One moment I was sitting down the next I had grabbed Ulquiorra's arm and was pulling him back, "stay…" I said pleadingly. 'Okay…wait pleadingly? What the hell is wrong with me?!'

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Ulquiorra's p.o.v

It was her. "Stay," she said to me in a low voice. I allowed myself to be gently tugged back to the roof; her hands slid beneath my sleeve and lightly stroked my skin. I trembled almost imperceptibility, my eyes closed, 'what was this strange sensation encompassing my being?' She leaned into me, pressing her body against mine I responded by wrapping my free arm around her…I lowered my head, conflicting desires…and emotions were racing through me at that moment…then…

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Rukia's p.o.v

He had pulled me tightly against his chest, I had tilted my face up and I knew what was coming…and was eager for it… "Rukiaaaa!!" yelled a voice in the distance. The next second, a blazing hellish wreath of black flames was bearing down upon us. Ulquiorra reacted quickly by pulling me off the building with him and teleporting to the ground. I had a brief sensation of weightlessness before touching down lightly he shoved me away just as another mass of swirling black flames hurled toward him.

' That's Ichigo's bankai,' I thought dazedly, 'how did sneak up on us?' Ulquiorra evaded the last attack; I glimpsed him one more time before he disappeared. I'll never forget the look on his face; it was a mixture of anger and desire. Suddenly someone yanked me into a bone-crushing hug from behind, "Rukia!" he cried. 'Gods, it's Renji! How much did he see?!' The faint light from the rising moon allowed me to see Ichigo land a few steps away, his Zanpaku-to still gleamed black, I trembled from fear, 'if Ichigo saw me up there…'

"Rukia," he said softly, and then he yelled at Renji, "you big oaf! Quit hoggin' her to yourself!" I breathed a silent thank you, as it seems Renji and Ichigo and everyone else for that matter are convinced that Ulquiorra is targeting me and not that it's me following him…

...

A/N: there's part one. See if I didn't capture Ulqui very oc (worried). After this just one more chappie and it's fini! Please review and tell me what you thought of it!


	2. Chapter 2 Thinking of you

Allay pain

/So how far must I go back to find my inner peace? Will you tell me?/

******************

Ulquiorra's p.o.v

My face I know still had its bland empty expression. My hands didn't shake as I opened the door marked by a _4_, my room. On all outward appearances I seemed as I always did, without feeling. Lord Aizen's perfect soldier, his prodigy as he first called me when my marked intelligence shown through.

I sat down on the edge of the black coverlet, the only color in the absolute white of the room. Here the furnishings were indeed Spartan by a simple nightstand of painted white pine beside the bed on the left side, a plain spindle-backed chair was placed near the window as to allow a seat for gazing out into the unchanging skyline.

Restless I got up and went to the window though I didn't sit. The moon above was vaguely crescent-shaped and partially hidden by clouds no doubt of Lord Aizen's making. Strangely he seemed to think that by creating fake things he gave this world of desolation an almost comforting aspect. I for my part did not understand this compulsion…_or maybe_, I thought as my eyes wandered over the white sand dunes, _he had wanted to feel a sort of link to his former home, the world of the Soul society_.

I raised a hand to my face; such thoughts were unlike me. It wasn't my place to question the motives of my Lord, my creator, my God. I as his creation was made for the sole purpose of carrying out his orders, of fulfilling his whims. When and _if_ they came to fruition I just like many of the other Arrancar would not be needed. Our eventual destruction was all a part of his prodigious plan to reign supreme as the God of the world.

Yet why did I feel out of the entirety of reverence I held for him in my being…a spark of doubt. Hesitance as evinced my reluctance to deal with the trash…her name escaped me. I felt sure she had been mentioned in one of the meetings as a part of the trash Kurosaki's _nakama_. _What was her name_…? Frustratingly I could not recall try as I might to remember the exact words of my orders past and present. Nothing had directly involved the _woman_ of whom I had foremost in my thoughts…finally though hazy I was able to place a name with her face.

_Kuchiki_.

Ichimaru had said it. In remembering a past distraction, he'd mentioned her and fondly recalled the event in which she'd been involved. _Crushing her_, he'd said with a curved smile I found to be eerily similar as to a snake promising it won't eat you. _Yes it was on the bridge as she was being taken to the_ Sokyoku _that I offered however fleeting a hope of survival. And sweet innocent doll that she is…she believed me_! Ichimaru had laughed chillingly, mockingly as I now thought back. But what had he said was her first name…

_Rukia_.

"Rukia Kuchiki," I said to myself quietly.

***/'Cause all my thoughts are just so vivid that it pains me now to remember…/ ***

Rukia's p.o.v

I shouldn't have been thinking of _him_, this much I know. My thoughts just like a great deal of other things don't seem to work out as you plan. It was wrong. I know that. I felt someone's eyes upon me and lifted mine to encounter green…_green_? For the time it takes your heart to increase its beats I realized with some disappointment that it was only Captain Hitsugaya looking at me.

'Are you okay?' He mouthed to me from across the small aisle. I hastily looked down at my notes, hiding my discomfiture behind the sheath of hair that fell from its usual place onto my face. _Had he seen the outrageous hope in my eyes_? I picked up the abandoned pencil from the side of my desk and held it laxly over the paper, refusing to even look his way for fear of seeing the accusation I imagined he must have been making.

When the bell rang I with relief stood up and gathered the assortment of jumbled papers from the desktop. Ochi-sensei was announcing some winter carnival to be held at the school in two weeks, disinterestedly I heard my name being called, "Rukia. Rukia Kuchiki!"

"Yes, Ochi-sensei?" I politely asked. My bag was packed and I longed to leave. "You're in charge along with Hitsugaya-kun of organizing our class's booth!" she smiled broadly at me, the familiar worn out expression of a teacher evading a ton of tedious work by passing this time consuming job onto her beloved pupils. Of which, I was sure this wasn't going to be pleasant at all.

"Yes. Ochi-sensei," I merely said dully. To invent a plausible excuse of getting out of this situation would have cost me both breath and coherent thoughts that I didn't see any point in wasting. At least now I would be under _their_ guard and not apt to be assaulted anymore by Ulquiorra.

In any case I determined myself to forget _him_, and concentrate on more important matters. For the first time that day my eyes wandered over to Ichigo's empty seat…

~~~To be continued or not?~~~

A/N: just kidding! Apologies for not updating sooner…I seem to be catching a cold and would've posted this on Tuesday but I thought…well what if I'm bedridden or something-gets dramatic. Sorry, anyhow please review!


	3. Chapter 3 Without you

Our world

/Thinks of the world/

/despite knowing there is no meaning to be found/

/Thinks of our world/

/It is meaningless to instigate it/

/Pass quickly over those trivial thoughts. Moreover, crush them/

Ulquiorra's p.o.v

A meeting of the Espada was called early the next morning. I was informed by mental link between us in the Espada; I hadn't slept well. My thoughts had wandered loitering in the rememberence of the Kuchiki woman. I couldn't yet think of her by name or even voice it comfortably the way Gin Ichimaru had. His familiarty with her I wondered about, how much more did he know about her that I didn't?

I dressed quickly, my hair had settled in its usual flat waves. My uniform was pressed to neatness. I went to the door and then hesitated…could _he_ possibly have anything like a pictoral representation of her? Now that I thought of it, it seemed highly likely that he did. Right now…this was the time to look in his room when he was at the meeting. I went out into the hallway closing my door gently behind me.

Ichimaru's room was on the opposite side of the Las Noches. Getting there was easy, I encountered no one not even any of the bothersome Fraccion. I had to hurry however. Out of all the Espada I hadn't ever missed a meeting or been late. The knob gleamed dully against the white wood, no number marked the door, this was it. I grasped it firmly and tugged expecting it to catch the lock and my entry be forbade.

It swung open slowly tantalizingly. I walked in and glanced at the disorderly bed with its white coverlet and frumpy pillow. Nothing of interest there. The nightstand was similar to mine and I opened its one drawer easily. Inside was a tiny clutch of parchment bearing various symbols on it. I took these out and lifted them apart one by one, _seventh Division, eighth division_, these are?

The badges of the various divisions of the Soul reapers, I realized a moment later. From between one of these entitled _Division thirteen_ slipped a paper photo of a woman to the floor. I reached for it, my fingers closed around the edges at the same second when four sets of footsteps thudded the hallway outside. My absence had been discovered.

I hastily stuffed the picture in my pocket and dropped Ichimaru's collection in the drawer; if I was found in here how was I to explain myself? Fortunately I was spared this as those footsteps I'd heard before faded away. I quickly left his room and when I was a sufficent distance away I withdrew the paper from my pocket.

The picture as I had suspected was indeed of the Kuchiki woman. It had been apparently taken not of her knowing for she wasn't facing the camera, her eyes were closed and her face was reposed in a happy smile. On the back the tiny caption read, _Kuchiki Rukia-chan_, in Ichimaru's handwriting. _My dear Rukia_…I could almost hear him say it, softly caressingly while in my mind's eye, I could see her _cringe_.

Rukia's p.o.v

There wasn't much to be done, not now however. Ichigo's absence weighed somewhat heavier in my mind as I searched throughout Karakura for any sign of his flowing reiatsu. When I returned empty handed to his house, his sister Yuzu asked me if I'd had any luck. "No. I'm sorry," I said before beating a hasty retreat. I couldn't bear the sorrowful looks in their eyes, not when I also felt a part of this immense guilt for feeling the way I do…_about Ulquiorra_.

My traitorous mind refused to focus as I went up to the roof, my senses I scanned once more searching for any _familiar_ reiatsus. But to my sharp disappointment discovered _none_. I was most assuredly alone here; a Soul reaper searching for an Arrancar would be too blunt an explanation. Even I could not admit it to myself this longing need I had deep inside for _his_ presence. No matter how many times I thought it wrong and sinful I could not _stop_ thinking of him.

_But what was I to do_?

I couldn't rip my heart out or slice away the part of me that begged to see him, to hear his voice. I felt this way inside of me, inside of my heart, in my mind reason or decorum forbade this. It would be wrong, we were wrong..we couldn't ever be together, in a way this was similar to my former feelings for Ichigo He was a Human, living at that, and what was I but the personification of death?

Now here it is my current predicament: to decide what the worst offense was, first to love a human, second to love a Hollow. Neither I was sure could bring much happiness let alone my own feelings being reciprocated. For it is one thing to love but another to be loved in return. And I doubt very much as to what Ulquiorra's feelings are toward me, his enemy…I'm sure they don't resemble fascination or even interest in the slightest bit.

Ulquiorra's p.o.v

I did not ponder her picture for very long indeed I merely satisifed my assessment that it was her and not someone whom looked like her, before replacing it back in my uniform's pocket. I simply didn't have the leisure or the interest of studying this pictoral representation of one of the trash. _But then why did I keep it_?

I went to the meeting room and took my seat but did not offer any reason for my tardy appearance. Lord Aizen merely glanced at me then continued on detailing his current orders. I listened to this with rapt attention even though I would never have admitted it, I hoped for one word pertaining to the world of the living, just one thing concerning the Soul reapers and I'd have jumped at the chance to go. _But not to look for her_.

Much to my disappointment Lord Aizen didn't mention them at all except for interest in that human girl, the one who had the rejection powers. I for my part did not see any use in her, her obvious stupidity and lack of real strength as evinced by her near destruction at Yami's hands had made it plain what everyone else could not see. This human female was trash. Now the other, the Kuchiki woman I suspected had more character and a stronger type of resilience to anything that came at her. _But that didn't mean she wasn't trash_.

When I was alone once more; the other Espada had gone their various ways to each's pursuits and no outstanding orders were before me, I took out her picture again. How different life is from a captured moment, I thought curiously, here she seemed young; almost inexperienced. The smooth untroubled features betrayed that. Her mouth had none of its usual tightness at the corners nor those closed eyes weren't screwed up with hidden pain. Like they were now. _But why was I thinking of her_?

_Why_ couldn't I stop _thinking_ about _her_?

She is trash.

This was ridiculous; no matter how I might try to dismiss her from my mind I couldn't. Her words. Her few curious questions all led me to believe one thing. She must be feeling this same sort of emptiness. Not the emptiness that comes of being a Hollow…_but almost as if a vital part of you is missing_.

Yet that in itself is foolish. I do not feel.

I cannot feel anything.

~~~Allay pain~~~

/There's something here, always beyond me-- for my frozen heart cannot grasp it/

/It has no thoughts, it has no mind, and in simplicity, it lasts forever…/

~~~To be continued~~~

A/N: so how was it? I personally was very happy with the way it came out :). Anyhow could ya guys go take a look at Nothing in the dark-Ulqui/Ruki too, and maybe drop me a review? I'll update it next week...and oh my Gods I've been having a Gundam wing marathon and I'm totally beat! Yume over and out!


	4. Chapter 4 Existence or the denial of it

Haunted

/_Long lost words whisper slowly to me/_

/_Still can't find what keeps me here_/

/_When all this time I've been so Hollow/ inside_/

_/I know you're still there…_/

/_Watching me_/

/_Wanting me/ I can feel you pull me down_/

/_fearing you/ loving you_/

/_I will let you pull me down_…/

Rukia's p.o.v

I've never thought of myself as being overtly emotional or sensitive. When I first heard of Orihime's capture by the fourth Espada I felt a small twinge for the loss of my friend. When I then realized after the intial reports and description of the Arrancars who led the kidnapping, an overwhelming despair came over me. Ulquiorra. It had been him who'd convinced _her_ to leave.

Though it was wrong I couldn't help but feel pinpricks of jealousy; I wouldn't have _wanted_ to be taken away from everybody but I only wished that I could've caught a small glimpse of him…that time I spent training in Soul society hadn't robbed me of my insane desire to be with him. _Was this love_?

"Don't worry, Rukia, we'll get her back," Ichigo assured me when he noticed my unusual depressive air. I blinked and forced myself to respond. Of course _they_ thought me upset over _her_ loss. Yet that couldn't be the farthest from the truth. I couldn't care less about Orihime in the clutches of the enemy. My chest tightened and I looked away; _was I really this selfish_?

I met nobodies eye as I left the room, I thought they might be able to see my discontent reflected in my eyes. I hoped rather wished I would be left alone for this nagging fear persisted if I stayed in their company they'd realize it; I no longer thought like them. I didn't want to raise Sode no Shirayuki against the Arrancar, against _Ulquiorra_. _I can't help the way I feel._

If we went to Hueco Mundo and tried to rescue _her_ I would be expected to do this: raise my arms against the one I loved. _What can I do_? Before things had been easy, we were on the good side, I believed in our laws and the right we had to pass judgment on those who've sinned: the Hollows. I didn't think of the personalities, the lives they used to have before they become creatures devoid of all feeling, I did not hesitate when I would plunge Shirayuki into their bodies and withdraw the gleaming blade stained red.

I'd never had to contemplate this, never wanted to, until that is I met _him_. Then I wanted to know everything about _him_ no matter how trivial, how unimportant it might be. But that I only realized later was a side effect of falling in love. You want to be with that _person_, you need them there with you…I never believed it true when they said; _love is blind_.

With _whom_ I _loved_, there _was_ a definite _problem_.

Ulquiorra's p.o.v

The trash, I could tell, longed to have a good crying fit but would not do this in front of my presence. I lingered, wondering if asked, she might tell me about the Kuchiki woman. _Her_ picture had resided in my pocket for a while now and I still did not have the faintest desire to return it to its former owner. _She should belong to me_.

Gray eyes looked up at me, their accusation evident even in her tone as she addressed me, "what does Aizen intend to do with me?" I could tell she blamed me for taking her away from the trash Kurosaki and all the rest of the trash, yet I had the strangest feeling that…_Rukia_ didn't miss her as much as the others did. _How could I be so sure she really felt this way_?

"Woman, tell me of the Soul reaper, Rukia Kuchiki," I ordered. The woman gaped at me openly, her surprise betrayed in the very nervous way she twitched and suddenly looked down. "Rukia…" she whispered, "you…want to know about Rukia?" I got this sense that she and my Soul reaper weren't on very good terms. _Why though_? From all apparent accounts I hadn't ever suspected there might be any dissension amongst these so-called _friends_.

How very intriguing.

"Speak," I commanded. The trash let out a small squeak and at once launched into this annoying babble and though I didn't appear to pay much attention to it, I discerned two things. My Soul reaper had been _fond_ of the trash Kurosaki in the _past_ or so a little voice inside me comforted, and she had a love of rabbits?

Even if she still was _fond_ of Kurosaki…I could not think _her in love with him_; that could be easily remedied. He would die by my hand, of that I would make sure of. No one, not even Ichimaru could have her, I decided. _She would be mine_.

_And mine alone_.

*~~~Allay pain ~~~*

/Numbly, I still try to retrieve the things I've lost/

/Though it is beyond my reach, I'll redeem myself at any cost…/

*~~~~~~~~~~~~*

I couldn't deny I felt nothing. I wasn't supposed to and yet I could not stop myself from _feeling_ this way. Many a time the human trash used the expression: having butterflies or a fluttery sensation inside you as a sign of being _in love_. I must doubt this. For how can you have anything resembling this feeling when you are what I am now?

Lord Aizen, I know, never meant for any of his creations to harbor _feelings_ or _emotions_. So this was entirely of my own will. A grave sin that I felt must carry heavy repercussions. We were-are enemies, no inner feelings could change that. We are the opposite of night and day; she is the light while I am the dark; a sinner and the one without sin.

I do believe our differences so great that they cannot be bridged. For even if I were allowed to have her…did I dare _soil her_? Her eyes spoke of distant pain what I want is to heal it yet I don't know how. Her smile, I have seen, is bitter; I want to be the cause of its radiance. She makes me feel what my previous existence as a Hollow had erased: _my emotions_.

My heart had long ago stopped beating; it is not as the humans interpret it. It is only a red organ that sustains life, but it is when this life is extinguished that you do not _feel_ anymore. Only those who have been left behind know the hateful anguish one goes through when everyone and everything passes you by. The dark place you reside inside your mind where the voices whisper malignant cruel words to you. And in time you begin to believe what they say; you have been forgotten no one remembers you, your life was crushed and had no meaning.

_It has no meaning_.

_Nothing and no one in our world have any meaning_.

I blinked as this inescapable truth came to me. We mean nothing, _she_ is _nothing_ and I would prove it by finding her right now and killing her. The trash seemed to sense my change of attitude for her expression grew knotted and very tight as if she were afraid. I allowed a cruel smirk to twist my mouth up at the corners; once _she_ was gone I would believe in Lord Aizen again.

I swept out of the trash's cell and went directly outside the white walls, my hand withdrew from my pocket and I opened a Garganta. No permission did I seek for I was sure no one would miss _her_ once my task had been completed. Night was falling rapidly in this city of the living when I stepped out into midair; I masked my reiatsu as best I could and used my pesquisa to find her current location.

.5 miles away…she was indeed close.

~~~Allay pain~~~

/I fall into a light sleep on a night filled with loneliness/

/ I begin to learn the intention behind despair/

/You hide away, and the warmth of your presence leaves/

/And left in its wake is a darkness I fear I can't bear…/

*~~~~~~~~~~~*

I sonido-ed to the rooftop of the building where she was staying; _Hmm, Kurosaki clinic_? I entered the topmost room via an opened window, a small desk and a few knickknacks were up against one wall but this I paid no heed to for it was on the low bed laid my quarry in the deepest slumber imaginable.

Her short raven hair pillowed her head; one small hand was thrown up against the squished pillow, clenched even in sleep. Her jaw was tight and a low whimper escaped the pressed confines of her lips. _What was she dreaming about_?

I edged closer my pretext being so I could administer the killing blow; a cero should do it. I wouldn't even have to dirty my hands. I stood over her; no shadow was cast; my finger I raised slowly, the light green energy building up. _Soon it would be all over_.

Her eyelids twitched, "I'm sorry…Ichigo! I don't lo—"

I paused curious as to what she was going to say. Her face screwed up and soft sobs gurgled in her chest, "I love _him_…oh Gods I'm so sorry!" Liquid oozed from the corners of her closed eyes. I gently leaned over and brushed my finger beneath the lids, _tears_?

_Who was it that she loved_?

A frown creased my mouth, who is this that she loves so much as to shed seemingly _anguished_ tears over _them_? My senses once sharpened by this form of an Arrancar now dulled when assaulted by an intermittent wave of _sadness_? _No_. I refused this, I do not _feel_ anything for this _trash_; she is _nothing_!

I sunk to my knees on the wood floor; my hands cradled my head. I must not be confused! Lord Aizen's path and his rule are absolute…I cannot feel; I mustn't feel! Slowly I raised myself up, ready once more to kill the trash before me…yet as I looked up toward the bed I realized _she_ had heard me. _Rukia_ was sitting up, the white sleeping kimono wasn't tied well and hung open loosely revealing her porcelain skin, which seemed to glow with an ethereal shimmer to my startled eyes.

"Ulquiorra?" she said softly.

Rukia's p.o.v

Ichigo had left again without me being able to say goodbye. I didn't care much for in my current mind state I was much too _distracted_ to properly think up coherent answers. When night began to fall I retired early to Ichigo's sisters' room and for a while just lay beneath the covers in the darkness of the room. Soon enough his sisters arrived and noisily began their preparations for bed. _My peace had been disturbed_.

Quietly I slunk away from my allotted bed and went down the hall to _his_ room. Once inside I contemplated the closet, my old quarters but quickly brushed that away. It wouldn't do to be all cramped up in there when just several feet away was an empty bed. So thinking this I got beneath _his_ sheets and soon fell comfortably asleep.

You can't control what you dream but I wished _I_ could even if it was only for that one night. _They were there all of them, my fellow Soul reapers_ _and my friends. Sans Orihime_, _she_, _I saw to my horror, was laid out on a black bier_. 'You killed her,' _whispered the voices of Matsumoto and Captain Hitsugaya._ ' You wanted someone you can't have!'

"I'm sorry…Ichigo!" _I cried_, _sinking to my knees before him_, _for his was the face that showed the most grief_. "I don't lo—" _then I stopped_. What was I saying? I did love him more than anything or anyone else. _My voice shook and wetness dotted my eyes_, "I love _him_…oh Gods I'm so sorry!"

Their eyes filled with accusation gradually faded away as the nightmare ended. My racing heart steadied and then slowly I became aware of another presence in the room with me. Someone kneeling beside the bed…_who was it_?

I cautiously sat up and in doing so the knot of my kimono became loosened and fell open slightly, my eyes narrowed in the brilliance of the moonlight coming in from the window, recognized the diminutive shape and coal black hair as that of _him_.

"Ulquiorra?" I whispered.

He immediately stiffened and for a time, stayed where he was, just staring at me. The brightness of his eyes was lost beneath the veil of shadow cast over him but I could tell he wasn't at ease. His skin looked almost translucent in the scattered moonbeams, my eyes trailed over every visible detail recommitting them to memory. The way his hair fell, the darkness of those cyan lines, the empty almost _bewildered_ expression puckering his face.

I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. If I'd thought that leaving this place and staying forever in Soul society where I belonged, would cure me of this, then I was a fool. I loved him; it was as simple as that. _But how did he feel about me_?

I pushed away the covers and slipped out of the bed to the floor beside him. If anything he seemed slightly more disconcerted at my nearness in the way he suddenly turned his face away. Not to be dissuaded I reached out and slowly placed my fingertips on his chin; "look at me," I said. His expression was of stone when his eyes met mine. Their coldness didn't repulse me in the slightest quite the contrary; my heart began beating faster.

"Don't run away…Ulquiorra." I tilted my head up and leaned into him. I felt his arm snake around me just like before, our lips were close. I took the initiative and hurriedly pressed mine to his. I didn't want another _incident_ like that other time to ruin the moment. His response I had to say wasn't lacking in the least; he completely engulfed me, sliding his left hand into my hair and forcefully pulling me back to gain better access to my mouth.

His tongue went in, surprising me. I hadn't expected him to react this quickly, his hands now roved over my nude body sliding underneath the confining kimono. Light caresses stimulated me more than what passionate words could, I struggled to undo the zipper of his Gi jacket to unveil his perfect white skin. I broke away from him to admire the delicate musculature, running my finger enticingly down to the lip of his pants, _thinking of what lay beneath_.

A _4_ I noticed, was tattooed on the upper left side of his chest. So he was the fourth Espada just as they had said! _Aizen made him_, I thought, brushing a light kiss on the side of his neck. He shuddered pleasurably when I licked him there. His hands suddenly moved to my shoulders and lifted me up…soon I lay on the bed, my feet dangled down. He stood over me, untying the black sash from around his waist. His hands once free of this chore, opened the folds of my kimono and slid down to part my thighs here they lingered on my hips as he leisurely let his eyes wander and scrutinize every inch of me. I blushed at the intensity with which I was gazed upon, secretly though I was flattered. I took a deep breath and for the longing ache in the most secret parts of me, I knew I was ready. I reached up for him once again.

During the passage of the night, we became one…

~~~To be continued~~~

A/N: tee hee, so it wasn't an exact Lemon, though I am implying they did _do_ it. Note: I don't own the lyrics to Evanescence's _Haunted_, which coincidentally helped inspire this story from the beginning :). Please review.


	5. Chapter 5 Aftermath

Ulquiorra's p.o.v

I gave her my right eye before I left. Her expression of horror when I plucked it out made me not think of the pain; _she cared_, _she was worried about me_. "Does it…grow back?" she whispered, glancing down at the green orb I'd placed in her palm. "After a while," I answered. The lightening of the sky outside heralded dawn approaching. Soon the trash of the house would stir and it would not do to have my presence discovered by _them_.

The Soul reapers especially I was worried about; if they found me here with her…I suppose they'd call it treason. Harboring a known enemy. No. The sooner I left the better for both of us. I had dressed in my formerly discarded uniform, it being slightly wrinkled from being tossed carelessly away the night before, Murcielago I picked up and slid through the sash so it hung in its usual place. I gave the room a quick once over making sure nothing would betray my presence.

Only Rukia sat a little ill at ease amid the rumpled sheets, her kimono she'd put on after waking up had been nearly restored to rights. Her raven hair stuck up a bit, tousled by sleep and by my fingers running through it. Seeing her unhappy countenance I went over to the bed and bending down lightly pecked her on the lips.

With the hand that didn't hold my eye, she touched my cheek where the cyan markings were, "I…" she started to speak but words failed her. I straightened up letting her hand slide into mine; no words of comfort could console her this I knew. She wasn't as easy to placate as the trash I was expected to take care of back in Las Noches.

Just by simple gestures was she satisfied. Whether she knew it or not everything I was doing now would be going against my God. This _love_ she had for me could be turned against them if I were to inform Lord Aizen of it. _How easy would she come over to our side_? Yet in the end that would harm her deeply to know that I'd betrayed her trust.

For now this was all I could do; a stolen moment here and there would be all we could have. I refused to think of our differences and the pain I suspected this temporary separation would cause her. On my part I felt indeed some definite satisfaction…_someone felt something toward me other than loathing_. I allowed myself one last look at her before I stepped through the small Garganta; her eyes were lowered and she clutched the green orb as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

Rukia's p.o.v

I wasn't sure what he was doing when he plucked his right eye and told me to hold my hand out. My skin definitely crawled when the bright green orb was placed in my palm, "does it…grow back?" I'd asked a little worriedly. Sure he was an Arrancar and all but did they have the power to regenerate their eyes?

Apparently so, for he answered me quietly, "after a while." His main preoccupation was with the early morning sky outside and the thin almost invisible slice of moon still hanging there. _Ariake_, I thought, _the waning moon at dawn_. In olden times this signaled the end to clandestine meetings made during the night. My cheeks burned when I realized how fitting this line was to us.

Clandestine. It was wasn't it?

A Soul reaper and a Hollow…I fought my inner urge to scream in horror of what I'd done. Ulquiorra was retying the rumpled sash of his uniform; the scattered garments gave a stark testimony and the reality of it seared my mind. He picked up his teal Zanpaku-to where it lay in the corner and slipped it efficiently through the black fabric. His one eye scanned the room I suppose just making sure he hadn't forgotten anything.

I knew he hadn't. He wasn't like anybody else I knew, that carried items that weren't necessary. He was cool, mildly passionate when he allowed himself to be, ruthless and calculating when carrying out Aizen's orders and yet I loved every part of him. This was what worried me…to what extent would I hurt those whom I called my friends if they learned of my indiscretions? Ulquiorra finally looked at me and seeing my down cast expression attributed it to his having to leave.

He startled me by suddenly going over to the bed. Lightly he bent over and brushed my lips tenderly; I lifted my hand and stroked his cheek absently, _did he realize what our actions the night before were doing to me_? I returned his kiss with as much feeling as I could manage, _who knows when we could be together like this again_? He straightened up and let my hand slide into his; my fingers tingled pleasantly with the recollection of them _touching me all over_.

I flushed and couldn't meet his eye; _did all encounters like what we had feel so_…_confusing_? My body now had this relaxing lightness to it that I'd never experienced before, where as between my legs a slight soreness from the indelicate bruises there felt somehow _right_. It was my mind that was in this seething turmoil…if I didn't think about it or even contemplate anything just live day by day…then maybe I'd achieve some peace. _I hope_.

Ulquiorra opened a small portal; he was ready to go. I barely even raised my eyes to watch him leave, _what was the meaning of him giving me his eye_? Once alone I glimpsed the sunrise from the window, my thoughts still in a whirling torpor. Soon though I rose and mechanically gathered up the day's clothes. I could hear Ichigo's family stirring and moving downstairs; this spurred me to hurry to the hallway bathroom where I could bathe in peace.

I stepped beneath an icy curtain of water, my fingers working through the tiny tangles in my hair. Under the seemingly brighter light of the overhead fluorescent bulb I studied the small bruises marking my body. My hips bore slight purplish half circles where his hands had squeezed me none to gently, my breasts were swollen at the tips and I patted them lightly with the soapy washcloth. I rubbed my middle and finally my legs washing the last traces of his being from me.

I got out and ignored the pounding on the door by one of Ichigo's sisters, I dressed myself in the usual gray school uniform idly wondering what the formal dress of the Arrancar woman were, if there were any at that. "Took you long enough," grumbled the skinny dark haired girl waiting on the other side when I saw fit to exit the bathroom.

"Sorry. I was doing my beauty treatments," I lied blandly. Her eyes rolled and I heard her mutter, "whatever," dismissively. The bathroom door closed with a resounding snap as I went down the stairs; _from now on_, I promised myself, _I would not worry about what they thought of me_. _I would only do things to further my own happiness_. _Everyone else can go to hell_…

Ulquiorra's p.o.v

My absence had been noted in Las Noches, Grimmjow waited outside Lord Aizen's throne room, a sneering smirk curving his mouth. "Aizen's been asking for you, where've you been?" I looked straight ahead, ignoring his impertinent question, "none of your business, trash." He straightened up from his slouching pose, "what was that Ulquiorra? I couldn't hear you…but did you just call me _trash_?"

"Yes. I did," I said rhetorically.

He leaned in close to my face, his teal eyes flashing dangerously, "I betcha you didn't call that _Soul reaper scum_… '_Trash_.' Am I right…Ulquiorra?" He had lowered his voice so that it didn't carry but I still heard every word. A peculiar sensation _almost like fear_ wormed its way up my spine; _how did he know where I'd been last night_? I kept my expression smooth and blank, free of incriminating worry, "I have no idea what you are referring to. All Soul reapers _are_ trash," I raised my hand chest high, "just like you."

"Oh…playing innocent aren't we?" Grimmjow smiled an unpleasant smile. Footsteps resounded coming closer from the hallway behind us, "ah there you are, Ulquiorra! Aizen wants to have a word with you." I turned and addressed the silver-haired man, "Ichimaru-san… I will go immediately then." Grimmjow stepped away from the door, his eyes on me all the time.

The throne room was mostly empty, devoid of the usual trash that loitered inside. I approached the center and bowed deeply, "you requested me, Lord Aizen?" The man seated above, smiled slightly, "Ulquiorra. My most trusted Arrancar in the Espada…tell me, where were you last night when I sent for you?" His chocolate eyes were searching, waiting for the lie I was most likely to say. Ichimaru stood a little off to the side his arms were crossed and he had his usual snake grin on. It only grew broader when I hesitated to answer.

"I was…"

"Yes, Ulquiorra? Where?"

I raised my head and focused my gaze unseeingly before me, "in the world of the living. The woman wanted something but I was unable to get it." Silence from above and behind; I waited, my mouth dry. "Is that so?" Lord Aizen finally asked, his voice soft and somewhat dangerous in its caressing tone, "then you won't mind showing us your eye now will you?"

I plucked my newly regenerated eye from its socket, "of course not." And I crushed it. A few scenes flashed before those in the room, I closed my remaining eye knowing what they were seeing. Humans walking around in the streets, storefronts and trees and then nothing, the eye had shown all that was recorded.

I blinked, warm liquid seeped out from the empty socket and I wiped it away with a quick movement. Lord Aizen propped his chin up in one hand, "something for Orihime-chan…hmm what was it that she wanted?" I had my answer prepared, "yarn and knitting needles, a human distraction." Ichimaru stirred, "you disapprove? Why the little doll is all alone in there with only her big scary guard as company. I would think you could take _advantage_ of the situation, Ulquiorra. What do you say?"

"I fail to comprehend your meaning, Ichimaru-san," I deadpanned. Someone snickered from somewhere in the shadows-_Grimmjow_. _He could be a problem_, I thought. _Especially if he knew about_ _Rukia_…

Lord Aizen was watching me and I attempted to keep my face blank again, "Ulquiorra, after you tend to Orihime-chan. I want you to take four of the Numeros and Grimmjow with you and destroy Kurosaki's friends and also…bring me the soul of Rukia Kuchiki."

"Yes, my Lord." I bowed.

Rukia's p.o.v

It didn't seem possible but the day of the Winter carnival had arrived. Time in Soul society passes by a lot slower so where it had been four months of my training over there only a few weeks had passed by in actuality here. And also it had been pushed back by two weekends for the lack of real frost.

I paused in loading two small crates onto a dolly, my body had been seriously lacking in any real warmth for the last three hours…_ever since he'd left_. Captain Hitsugaya, though annoyed at our duty to man the booth for our class, scowled when I slowed down.

"Worried about Kurosaki?"

Or maybe he wasn't as grouchy as I'd originally thought. Ichigo, we both knew was now staying over at Urahara's, trying to devise up a plan to save Orihime from Aizen. I set the boxes down and rubbed a hand over my face, "a bit," I admitted sheepishly, making him feel as though _that_ was what had me perturbed and not Ulquiorra.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure with _him_ they'll come up with something," Captain Hitsugaya said reassuringly; his face cracked into what I thought could be the closest to a smile that he could manage. "Thanks. Now lets go and make our class proud!" I said with forced enthusiasm.

Ulquiorra's p.o.v

I crossed my arms over my chest; the trash ate slowly. Her eyes kept wandering over to me, their curiosity reflected in the copper irises. I was for once glad that she was taking her time for as soon as she finished I was to leave for the human world and kill…_Rukia_.

_What was I to do_?

I couldn't disobey Lord Aizen by not killing her and besides I wasn't to go alone. Grimmjow would be a witness along with the new Numeros that were to assist us. I knew I could annihilate the entire human race without batting an eye, without questioning Lord Aizen. But with her…I thought of her fragile face and trusting eyes. No. I couldn't do it.

I'd just have to find some way of fulfilling my orders and protecting her at the same time. "You're done now?" I asked when the trash pushed her dish away half-eaten. "I'm not hungry anymore…you. You're planning on killing Ichigo aren't you?"

I blinked, somewhat surprised at her uncanny assessment, "Yes."

"I see," she said sadly, "a little while before you came in…Ichimaru-san came in to talk with me. He said Aizen was sending you to kill everybody. Ichigo, Rukia and Uryu and Chad…" she broke off mid-sentence, her eyes welling up with watery tears. "Don't…Ulqui—"

But I had left. I closed the cell door hurriedly behind me, my coat tails swished; _what was I to do_? I left the fifth tower and descended down to the area where Grimmjow and the new Numeros were waiting. They stood in a single line, their faces alike and averted when I passed before them. Grimmjow smiled at me, "lost are we, Ulquiorra?" I glanced his way, my eyes narrowed. "I have no idea what you are talking about, trash."

"Yeah…just keep saying that, Ulquiorra. You'll see eventually." He laughed and we left through a Garganta portal.

Rukia's p.o.v

I felt _his_ reiatsu before Captain Hitsugaya suddenly jerked upright, a buzzing sound coming from his pocket. "Arrancars!" he muttered, checking the soul pager. "Six of them," I murmured, my eyes looking toward the rising smoke and collapsing buildings in the east. Captain Hitsugaya hurriedly snapped the pager shut and withdrew the Gikongan pill, swallowing it. I followed suit much more slowly.

Soon our Gigais were taking cover and we were racing to meet the Arrancars. I gripped Shirayuki tightly; _what was going to happen…what was I to do_?

~~~To be continued~~~

A/N: Meh, I'd thought to make it longer but I was dying already at over two thousand words…heh. Reviews are appreciated as the end is nigh—nearly.


	6. Chapter 6 Losing him

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has favorited this story and left reviews. To SteelShadowfang: Haunted wasn't supposed to be more than a long one-shot but when I did what is now chapter one…I decided to make it longer so the depth of Asagiri's The Frozen Whisper and them slowly falling for each other isn't there. I apologize if Ulqui may be out of character but eh, enjoy:

Haunted conclusion Chapter.6: Losing him.

Ulquiorra's p.o.v

We arrived in their world as the chilly winter sun still slanted faint afternoon rays and the approach of two reiatsus hastened our destruction of the buildings surrounding us. Immediately those whom had accompanied me set off on their own, muttering lowly yet in excited tones; _just how many human souls were they going to eat_? I found myself repulsed by this attitude, though Yammy displayed this quite often…I couldn't help but worry: _what if she engaged them before me_?

Grimmjow stayed close by me, I was surprised by this. Usually he always charged off with the intention of challenging that worthless trash Kurosaki, to whom the Sexta always lost. "Whom're you waiting for, Ulquiorra?" he asked, a malicious glint in his eyes.

I turned my back to him and paced several steps away, "no one. I'm merely going to carry out Lord Aizen's orders."

"Even if it means killing that Soul reaper scum?"

"I live to serve and obey the wishes of my Lord as do you. I will kill Rukia Kuchiki myself." I affirmed at the same moment the words escaped my lips, something unnamable wrenched deep within me. I looked away from the street corner, catching movement from the corner of my eye. At the same time Grimmjow crowed, "only two? This'll be a piece of cake!"

I glimpsed Rukia's face just before her Zanpaku-to sent out a barrage of ice on the ground. _Betrayal_. _Hurt_…and _anger_. She must've heard me, I realized, disappearing in a flash. I landed on the rooftop of a nearby building, the tip of a white blade inches from my face. Rukia's eyes were distant as she addressed me coldly, "Arrancar."

I opened my mouth to reiterate her rude greeting but discovered myself unable to form the word. _I couldn't could I? Call her trash_? Because I didn't believe her as such. My jaw refused to open and so I stared at her dumbly, I could not call her trash but I would not say her name either, for I knew once she heard, she'd know the truth.

Down below, Grimmjow was toying with the shrimpy white-haired Soul reaper that had come along with Rukia. His gleeful shouts were disturbing me. I needed something…I needed to be away from him and all those whom had contact with me, I knew that if they saw us battle they'd see it then: my unwillingness to kill her.

"We'll fight somewhere else," I said quietly, placing my hand against her sword, my skin tingled with the intimate contact with her reiatsu. Rukia let me push her blade aside, standing apart, she nodded and then we left, I with Sonido, she with Shunpo.

We passed the town's edge and I indicated this was far enough. I faced her as we touched down, circles of dirt rose in tiny spirals. Her sword at her side, mine still sheathed, _could I do this_? _Could I really take her life_? Rukia watched with wariness I felt saddening. She had lost faith in me. She believed I could kill her without a moment's hesitation as I'd lied to Grimmjow that I would.

Silence filled between us like a dense weight. I waited for her to make the next move knowing I wouldn't be able to administer the killing blow. Her eyes fluttered closed then she looked away, "Ulqui—" she began but halted as we both felt it. That scum Kurosaki's signature reiatsu rapidly approaching.

~~*~~~

Allay pain

/But I can admit,/for it's always been so clear/

/We were never meant to be,/ so I left and did not shed one tear/

~~*~~~

Rukia's p.o.v

I couldn't believe it. His words spoken coldly, heartlessly: _I will kill Rukia Kuchiki myself_. I think I did quite well, hiding what his dismissal brought me. Captain Hitsugaya was fooled and immediately tackled Grimmjow while I went after _him_. I released Sode no Shirayuki, enveloping myself in a familiar cocoon of her icy aura. I set her first dance against him and watched as he evaded it, disappearing and then landing on the building next over's rooftop.

I followed, my speed near to his suddenly. Before he even had the chance to blink, Shirayuki's tip was an inch away from the end of his nose. "Arrancar," I called him, tasting bitterness rise in my throat, he stared at me impassively. I thought once he wanted to speak as his lips parted but no sound came out. We stayed like that for only a few minutes but it seemed like a lifetime then finally he told me quietly, "We'll fight somewhere else." His fingers pushed away my blade; I let him only curious as to why he wouldn't fight me here with Grimmjow watching.

I nodded once, assenting and took a step forward so that we were side by side then I Shunpo-ed. He wasn't just a blur in my eyes anymore; I could see him now, moving just a little off to the side, gaze focused ahead. When he halted, so did I, at the edge of Karakura we stopped. I took my place at one end of the field he at the opposite. He didn't do anything, didn't draw his teal sword or even fire a Doom blast, just stared simply at me.

_He couldn't do it. Could he_?

I felt relief inside, "Ulqui—" then I couldn't continue. For I sensed it, Ichigo's reiatsu coming fast, Ulquiorra did too, for he met my eyes, something reflected in them. I tried to speak but as I found my voice, I blinked and he was before me, his hand caressed my cheek. I breathed in sharply as he cupped my face and just for a second I thought his lips curved into the tiniest of smiles and then…he struck me, soundlessly I fell, onto his arm just as Ichigo arrived. I know this much because I heard him scream my name, thinking perhaps Ulquiorra had killed me.

"Rukia!!!"

~~*~~~

Losing you.

/So I'll sleep alone/Even if I know it's hard to watch you go/ 'cause there's something I must do

/ Even if I know it means/losing you…/

~~*~~~

Ulquiorra's p.o.v

I could not kill her. I knew this already. Kurosaki was getting closer by the feel in the air. I looked into her eyes, knowing there was only one option left to me. I hoped she could forgive me though with that personality of hers, I doubted it. This was the only way to free myself of Aizen.

Briefly I Sonido-ed to her, reaching out to touch her face, this would be the last time in a long while probably that I'd see it. She breathed in deeply, understanding in her eyes, I allowed myself one tiny crack in my emotionless façade, letting her see me smile if only for the last time. Then as she saw, I slugged her in the stomach with my right fist. Rukia gasped softly, her eyes fluttering shut, as she collapsed into peaceful oblivion, Kurosaki appeared.

"Rukia!!!"

I turned to him in faint annoyance.

_Couldn't the fool understand I hadn't killed her_?

_Wouldn't_?

But perhaps he is just trash after all. I let her fall to the ground, placing my hand on my sword as he yelled out "Ban-kai!"

Calmly I withdrew mine, "Bind, Murcielago."

As I transformed, I planned on making this quick. It wouldn't do to have her wake up as I _let_ Kurosaki slaughter me.

~~*~~~

Rukia's p.o.v

I heard nothing anymore, not for a long while. Then as I felt myself being moved gently, my eyes fluttered open. Ichigo was leaning over me, smiling with a rare smile, "Rukia," he said tenderly. Relieved, I realized. "Don't sit up so fast," he warned as I immediately tried to get up.

"That bastard did quite a number on you. But thankfully he'll never be able to harm you _again_."

I noted the sickening sound of triumph in Ichigo's voice and for the first time I really looked at him. His Shihakusho was torn in some spots, ragged at the edges of the sleeves, his face bore numerous bloody cuts and some were still bleeding. Yet all in all he seemed fine. Alive at least, but discomforted still I asked in a small voice, "where's—the Espada?" I just barely remembered not to say _Ulquiorra_ in time.

"Dead," Ichigo shrugged, "he turned into ash." I followed his gaze to the rapidly diminishing pile of gray powder, blowing away in the wind. I gritted my teeth, willing myself not to start screaming. Instead I blinked downward, my mouth became dry as I spoke, "you're so stupid, Ichigo."

"Wha—?"

He was surprised that I'd said that, because in his mind, he had saved me from _the big bad Arrancar_. I felt my eyes tearing up, "you're so damned stupid!" I balled my hands up and beat his chest crying over and over, "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" I'm not sure who was the more foolish in my mind. Ulquiorra for letting Ichigo win. Ichigo for inadvertently killing the one I loved. Or myself for loving him in the first place…

Ichigo held me as I dissolved into angry tears, my strength ebbing as the last of all that remained of Ulquiorra vanished in a dusty haze.

~~~Epilogue: Reminiscence on a summer day~~~

Rukia's p.o.v

He had no grave, no place for me to mourn him. I thought of him that day as the sun began setting. Summer was coming again to Karakura; the war had been over for months. Aizen's army scattered to the winds as his defeat was imminent. Orihime was brought back to us by an unlikely source—Grimmjow—left her during the night outside Urahara's store, unharmed and looking a bit wan but otherwise the same. I tried to act the same as usual around Ichigo and the others, but still I'd catch him shoot me curious looks often enough to know I wasn't fooling him as much as I'd like to.

I walked along the edge of the town, near the site of that fateful day. I didn't feel so much as anger than sorrow as I traveled over the same spot where I'd last seen him alive. I stopped moving for a second and held still, letting myself read the field for any lingering energies. Nothing. Disappointed I started to open my eyes then was surprised to find a small pressure as someone leaned up against my back. I felt the weight and trying to turn, a pale hand halted me from doing so.

I caught a whiff of scent, familiar, so very familiar. "Ulquiorra?" I whispered, hardly daring to hope. He sighed and I recognized the depth and softly spoken intonation, "hush." We stayed like that, he buried his face in my hair and I held still, breathing evenly. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, _why had he done what he did_? Feelings rushed up ruining my composure. Dismayed as though he felt my questions and did not want to answer them, he pulled away.

I spun around, catching sight of him for a second just before he used Sonido and disappeared. He looked much as he always had, untidy black hair, brilliant green eyes meeting mine for an instant, yet instead of chalk white skin it now had some color to it. The cyan lines on his face were also no more. I blinked, "wai—"

He was gone. I dropped the hand I'd extended, reaching out to keep him there. I didn't miss the soft female chuckle that floated to me from across the shadowed corner of the street and teasing words Yoruichi whispered candidly, "Seems like your experiment worked a little too well, Kisuke. _She really did fall in love with him_."

~~~Alternate Epilogue~~~

Rukia's p.o.v

He had no grave, no place for me to mourn him. I thought of him that day as the sun began setting. Summer was coming again to Karakura; the war had been over for months. Aizen's army scattered to the winds as his defeat was imminent. Orihime was brought back to us by an unlikely source—Grimmjow—left her during the night outside Urahara's store, unharmed and looking a bit wan but otherwise the same. I tried to act the same as usual around Ichigo and the others, but still I'd catch him shoot me curious looks often enough to know I wasn't fooling him as much as I'd like to.

Not that he wasn't shocked by my sudden pregnancy…I mean _everyone_ was. _Who was the father?_ They'd ask. And I'd blush and turn away demurely, politely saying it wasn't any of their damned business. I laid my hand over my belly encased in the loose fitting yellow summer dress, I felt then someone watching me. I looked up, for a second catching a glimpse of a man, green eyes, black hair and pale, pale skin. I started forward then he turned away, walking far faster than I could to catch up with him.

_Ulquiorra_?

I almost called out to him but then someone grabbed me by the arm, "Rukia!" Orihime said teasingly, "You shouldn't be out in this heat! It's bad for the baby!" I blinked, my vision of the familiar man fading, "yes," I said, "yes. You're right."

"So what're you going to name it? I mean if it's a boy then you could—"

"Sora."

"But that's—"

"For your brother." I smiled; I could not name my unborn child after its father for then they'd know, so I opted simply for my first real friend's deceased family member. "In honor of your brother, Orihime."

The orange-haired girl beamed, linking her arm through mine.

We walked away.

~~~Finis~~~

A/N: whoot! Finished! This story was one of my older ones, the third or fourth I'd originally posted on this site. Note: I do not own the lyrics to {Losing you} this song was by Big Dismal and is pretty much nearly six years old, {Allay pain} is of course {Half Pain} from Witch hunter Robin, but this was a rewritten part of the English lyrics. Anyhow, the two different epilogues weren't planned from the start and the original ending I'd thought up was much different…but things changed and this was how it came out. Hopefully no one's confused on it. In epilogue 1, it was Urahara whom gave Ulquiorra the Gigai after he faked his death and basically the same thing in epilogue 2. Please review.


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